Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Ode To 2010: Post 12 of 12

Well, what can truly be said about a year that has singlehandedly changed a course 27 years in the making? So very, very much MUST be said. When I approached this year, I was filled with an uneasy level of expectancy, trepidation, and millions of butterflies in my stomach. I looked at my dream board from this year and read the letter I wrote myself. All I kept saying was, “This is my year. This is my year. This is my year.” Nowhere in that letter did I mention that I would sever ties with my job. Never did I mention that I would lose my dad the second month of the year. Never in that letter did I mention that I would meet some of the most incredible men. Never in that letter did I mention that I would see people for who they really were and eliminate many from my life. Never. Never did I mention that I would be the beacon of light for so many others while enduring some of my life’s toughest trials, never. Somehow, God knew and He prepared me for 27 years.

2010 has been a year of many lessons, trials, tribulations, triumphs, and moments of clarity. My account of this year would be severely jumbled up if I didn’t categorize them to some extent. I have decided to pick the top 10 lessons that I’ve learned this year. Take out your pen & pad, tissue, popcorn, and your phone. This will be enlightening, emotional, entertaining, and fill you will epiphanies. When you finish reading this, you will truly know why I will never be the same. Here goes it……
Flying High Above It All....

Ode to 2010: Post 11 of 12

Lesson #10: Art of Letting Go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life, but the most essential. -Me

There is great power in letting go. I think this is the most powerful lesson I had to learn totally against my will. I am often and transported back to March 12, 2010 at 3:50 pm at Emory University Hospital. This is where I witnessed my very best friend, prayer partner, spiritual father, laughing buddy, role model and father, be zipped up into a huge white Ziploc bag and shipped off to the morgue. (I have to be vivid because this paints my reality.) I stood there and watched this as an out of body experience. This moment was one that I dreaded all my life, but God saw fit for it to happen as a 27 year old woman a journey. I stood there and realized that all the memories I had were all the ones that I will ever have. I realized that all the stories, sermons, and pointers I would get to be a wife had already been given. I realized that transfer of favor was now a final transaction. I realized that his dreams were now mine to spread to the masses. I realized that I was no longer daddy’s girl, I was daddy’s woman. I had to realize that everything I was taught from 1982 would count in this very moment. I just stood there as God began to whisper in my ear, “Let go Mel, the time is now.” I had to turn around to look to see who else was in the room. I could feel my father’s spirit in the air. It was no longer in that white bag. That was just his peanut butter colored space suit (as he would call it). Man. This was the moment he prepared me for.

In that very poignant moment in my life, not one tear fell. I was still in somewhat of shock. I went through the motions of planning his funeral, picking out his 3 suits, calling all his friends, setting up accounts, choosing our wardrobe for all the services, coordinating with all the churches & funeral homes, cleaning out his car, and ironing out all the details for our new life. You name it, I did it effortlessly, still with no tears. This was probably one of the most defining moments in my life. This is where I knew God can give you the strength when you need it. I had to realize that daddy’s woman now had a lot of things to take care of. I had to let go of him on this side so he could get to kingdom business.

My life now is one that is not filled with a lot of rhetoric and foolishness. If I say it, I mean it. If I want it, I get it. If I love you, I love you for life. If I need a moment, I take it. If I believe it, God will make sure I receive it. If I need it, I already know it will be taken care of. I have let go of what I think normalcy is required to be. While I desire those rose colored glasses to view life from, I have chosen to put on the amour of the Lord and look towards the bigger picture. I am going to use every gift to the fullest extent, go on every trip, and live life to the edges of the earth. I am not afraid to love 100 times over. I have let go of what people have thought of me and (re) convinced myself of all that I have been destined to be. I have let go of the alleged singular path to greatness. I have let go of the idiosyncrasies of mediocrity and complacency. I have let go of the disappointments of love lost and love that still remained in my hand & heart. I have had to let it all go.

I now understand why eagles take their young to the highest peak to learn how to fly. Even if they fall short, they are still above so many others. I get it now. I see why my parents did all they did. I get it. I know why daddy transferred his anointing to me, why he gave me all of his passwords, why he constantly wanted to make everything a teaching moment, why he made me VP of his companies, why he shared all his dreams with me. He wanted me to fly….on my own. He took me to the highest peak and prepared me to fly. When I look up in the sky, I can see two huge peanut butter colored thumbs up and his saying, “That’s it baby girl”. That’s all I really need anyway.
Letting it all go so I can get what I need next,

Ode to 2010: Post 10 of 12

Lesson #9: Keep Dreaming and Believing

The thing about dreams is that at some point we have to wake up and live them….. -Me

Do you possess the ability to dream without measure? Do you think you possess the power to dream when everyone says your dream is not going to happen? Do you think you’re able to hold on to what God promised when it looks like it will never happen? Do you think all your believing has been in vain? Do you think what you want is too much to ask? Do you think you’re worthy of all your dreams coming true? Can you believe? These are some of the questions that I often ask myself.

I think about the numerous dream boards I’ve made, the promises God has told me, the things I have been told by prophets, and I’m like, “God are you sure?”. Sometimes my reality doesn’t always directly correlate with my dreams and I am often baffled. In my moments of doubt, I immediately have to rebuke the enemy. That’s often when breakthrough comes. When I feel like I am about to fail, I have to go to God in prayer. I have to find a way to ignore what I see and understand that what I don’t see is working on my behalf. I literally have to repeat out loud “Walk by faith and not by sight” over and over again. Once I get this mantra back reprogrammed into my spirit, God shows up.

I have really, really had to walk by faith this year. Leaving a job, having to survive, wanting to still bless others, and just trying to remain significant, I have had quite a journey. Through all of my struggles, I can say God is good. When God says He will grant you your daily bread, He is not a man that He should lie. I really, really wish I could tell you everything that I have triumphed over and been able to get the victory in. Every time I needed a bill paid, or a sign, God wasn’t slow to move. I can recount numerous times where I said, “mom, God is about to send a check in the mail”, and within days it came into fruition. I know God is real. The moment I try to doubt His ability to work it out, I am reminded of how He showed up before.

My spirituality has been heightened in the midst of my life’s greatest storm. I have seen God move in the spiritual realm right before my eyes. Words cannot express the way I feel right now.
When you are at your lowest, God should be lifted the highest. Nothing is too hard for God, nothing. If something doesn’t work out the way you thought it would, then God has a different plan, He has to.

I have learned to not stop dreaming and believing. Yes, I will be disappointed. Yes, I will have to leave some people in my past. Yes, I will have to walk about from situations that seem ideal. Yes, I will encounter doubt. Yes, I will want to throw in the towel in more ways than one. Yes, I will feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders. Yes, people will think I am crazy for believing beyond what I see. But honey, let me tell you, none of that matters when God is in the driver’s seat. I have learned that I have to stop listening to what others say and even some of my own thoughts. The best way to get answers is to be silent. I have had to find a way to get to God through prayer and supplication. I pray about it, write about, and wait on it. Some answers are more explicit while others take a little longer to come. I know that when God has told or showed me something I have to move in that direction or everything else will fail. With God, I am ok. I have learned that when everything else fades away, we will always have God, and that’s more than enough.

Not going to stop dreaming and believing,


Ode To 2010: Post 9 of 12

Lesson #8: Perspective

Sometimes you just have to let go of what's in your hand to see what you were holding on to. It's worth will be revealed in time- Me

It’s not about what you’re looking at, it’s about how you see it. Life is all about perspective. The moment you change the way you look at something, you possess the power to change it. While you may not be able to change having a job just yet, you can definitely view it as the possibility of having freedom to live out your dreams and truly decide what you want to do with your life. While you might not be able to change the fact that someone didn’t see greatness in you, you can see the possibility of working to become even greater. You may feel that you are not exactly where you want to be, but you have to see the possibility of dreaming above the possibilities that currently exist. Of course it is always easier said than done, but why not use your time wisely?

I believe struggle is by design. God doesn’t want us to suffer, but He wants us to get the lesson. It is important that we view our journey as class in session. We should constantly evolve and be open to learn something new. Each experience we encounter is designed to make us better. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a loss of a love, a loss of a job, a loss of a desire, whatever it is, God can use it all for His glory. Believe me, I have taken each one of these paths and I can tell you that there is always a silver lining.

I often speak of my dad being gone because it is a part of my daily journey. While he is gone in body, I can feel him in spirit. I have had to take the loss of him in stride, but with my head held high. In the most defining moment in my life, God placed me on a platform for others to see. For some reason, I have been the beacon of light for so many others. Never would I imagine ministering to people all over the world, but somehow God saw fit. It is often in your place of hurt where your calling can be found. When you’ve been to your life’s lowest moment, you garner an uncanny ability to be transparent and an ability to speak with a different voice.

Understanding your seasons is key to transitioning to each new level in life. This is a concept that I have had to grasp quickly, especially when dealing with love. I think about how I’ve loved and learned and had to move on quickly. I think about the men I’ve dated, the things I’ve learned, and how I’ve grown as a result of our time together. I’ve had to take all that we were, record the lessons to memory, and move quickly. It is important to understand what God is doing in your life and who He may send on your path. A person’s purpose in your life may merely be to show you all that you deserve and what you should demand. Someone may come in your life to merely show you that what you desire exists but may come in a different package. Someone may come in your life to help you through a difficult season. Someone may come in your life to keep your spirits held high. You may never know the true purpose of a person’s season in your life until their season has ended. Some reasons come days later, some weeks & months, and some even years. Once you grasp the concept of seasons coming and going, you can move fluidly through life.

It’s hard to move on when you’re constantly living in regret, so don’t. Understand that the decisions you’ve made have been made and the only ones you can control are the one that you will make. See life as a chess game. Move strategically and understand the weight of every move. While you are not able to take months and years to make some decisions, you still have the ability to make the best ones. The way I look at life now is totally different. I have decided that each step I take has already been ordained. The closer I stay to God, the easier decisions are to make. I look to God for answers. If God is in me, then I don’t have to look very far.

Seeing things in a different way changes what I see,


Ode to 2010: Post 8 of 12

Lesson #7: Fear

"The key to change to let go of fear" - Rosanne Cash

I remember when I was younger I had a laundry list of things I was fearful of: the dark, certain animals, losing someone I loved, tall trees, dark alleys, failing, being alone, and not being happy. Well, as I got older, I had to face a lot of those fears, well, all of them. While losing my dad was something I thought I could never face, I managed to persevere through it. Amongst all the other things on my list of ‘fears’, I realized that they were all mental. Once I decided that my fears were no greater than me, I was able to rise above them.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in life is that, fear is the opposite of faith. My mom, who serves as my BFF and my spiritual advisor, always stresses that fear cancels out faith. Why pray when you’re going to dwell on what on your issues all day? Why place something on the alter if you keep going back to get it? Why tell God that you are trusting Him but you’re laying awake at night fretting over what you’ve given Him? Fear sends the message to God that you don’t trust Him to handle it.

Facing your fears allows you to move forward. Within the last 12 months, I have had to look my fears directly in the face. I’ve look in the mirror and said this daily, “No matter how big or small, the God in me is bigger than them all.”
I look back over the things I have triumphed over and I am overwhelmed at how God has kept me. He has literally carried me from faith to faith. Every time I thought I would easily crumble or not make it, He has rescued me. I always say, “God will give you what you need when you need it.” Whether it be a person, place, situation, or decision, whatever you have need of in that very moment, God will send it. So we must fear not, everything has already been taken care of.

Knowing fear is the opposite of faith,


Ode to 2010: Post 7 of 12

Lesson#6: Time

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
What does the worker gain from his toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.
That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil--this is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

The thing about time is that it keeps moving whether you are or not. The world keeps spinning. People keep moving. Life continues to forge ahead. Whether you decide to stand in the very same spot or not, the world will continue to move on without you.

Time doesn’t always heal, it merely pushes the reality of when a moment happened. The more I live through my life’s trials, I realized that time doesn’t (always)heal, but God does. The more you live, God will begin to do a special work through you. Indeed, everything takes times, but above all, it takes God to complete that work in you. So healing is merely a decision and I’ve decided to let God do a great work in me. God doesn’t operate in the measure of time that’s common to us, so we need only find the strength day to day to make it to that breakthrough .

This year, I have learned that “me time” is essential to survival. You have to find a place where you can be with just you. If you’re like me, the world can sometimes be louder than your own voice. It happens to the best of us. I should be married, I should have kids, I should live here, I should make this, I should be with this type of man, I should be doing this, I should know this, I should be going here, etc. All of these preconceived notions that are frivolous in the grander scheme of things. I have had to stop holding on to what I think, to understand what I am to know. I will let that marinate. Lol. Stopping holding on to what you think and hold on to what you know God has promised. Many times we think we have it all figured out and then God shows us a total different, uncharted path. The times where we receive this top secret blueprint is during those quiet moments with God.

I have truly learned the art of loving God in silence. I just sit very still, read His world, and just let Him work me over. Like with any intimate relationship, it doesn’t take a whole lot. The quiet, still interaction let’s Him know it’s all about Him. In that very moment, you let God know you are open and ready. I have had to moments while I am in the car just to go iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin for some good worship. I’m talking about tears streaming, hands up, heart pounding, some real encounters with God. In those very moments, I see myself making it. I see myself preserving through my challenges. I see myself as great as He said I would be.

Prayer and praise are life’s secret weapons. It doesn’t take long for God to show up either. Many times He’s leaning on your door post waiting to knock. All He is waiting for is your open heart. He wants to know if He can trust you with the next level. More importantly, He wants to know if you’re ready.

I have learned to trust God’s timing. I literally just bought my first watch in a few years. I have been so set on trusting God’s timing that I didn’t even want to wear a watch. Well, until I just found this fly watch with orange diamonds. Lol. But really, God’s timing always reigns supreme. Now I have been applying to jobs ALL year. It is unreal. I have been overqualified for most, but still believed God. When I let go of wishing, hoping, and fretting over job opportunities, they began to come in like a flood. Phone calls, emails, random messages, like something out of a movie. Every time it happens, I just to look up and shake my head. God is so faithful. He will always cover you. Whether you verbalize it or not, He is well aware of what you need.

One of the most unique things I have learned about life is that sometimes people have expiration dates and shelf lives too. This is one of the toughest things I have had to come to realize. This is one that we all have to come to realize one way or another. Many times we are fighting to hold on to something that is covered in baby oil, mineral oil, and every other type of oil. Lol. It constantly slips through your grip. These are things that are not meant for us to hold on to. This goes for jobs, people, situations, memories, emotions, etc. We have to understand that there is a time limit on everything. I know I am guilty of holding on to unnecessary things, whether it be love or an old pair of shoes. Lol. I have learned to let people run their courses in my life and move forward. The best thing you can do is let people serve their time and then free yourself of when they are gone.

Knowing that I must trust His timing and not my own,

Ode to 2010: Post 6 of 12

Lesson #5: Friends & Family

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

Sometimes our hearts get tangled. And our souls a little off-kilter. Friends and family can set us right. And help guide us back to the light.~Sera Christann

Let me just tell you there is nothing more important than the people God has connected you to. I can really say that after the year I’ve had, that if it had not been for my friends & family, I would be on serious meds and/or in an institute. The late night prayer meetings, skype chats, texts, FB messages, tweets, phone calls, they made all the difference in my surviving this tumultuous journey.

My (immediate) family is comprised of some of the most incredible women I know. My mom, my 2 sisters, and my god mom Ana. I think about the year we have had and I am simply amazed at how we managed to survive this year’s course of events. Aside from my dad passing, we have REALLY faced some challenges this year, things that I cannot even blog about. In areas of love, health, finances, battles of the mind, jobs, relationships, you name it. We have faced SO much this year and came out like pure gold.

I thank God for my mother, I really do. *cue the tears falling* I cannot think of a more incredible woman of God. A woman who single handedly planned her husband funeral from a laptop in the hospital waiting room while the breathing machine was being unplugged. A woman who made sure her husband was buried like a king amongst family, friends, and foes who gave little or no support. A woman who stood in all white to salute her husband being placed into a marble wall. A woman who has kept the faith in the midst of her greatest storms. A woman who has lived day to day believing God despite what it has looked like or how she felt. A woman who has shown herself strong in the midst of wanting to lay in bed all day to mourn the loss of her best friend. To the woman who has shown me that God is real. My mother. I cannot even fully describe in words what it has been to witness my mother persevere through these past 3 years. Before my dad passed it has been a journey. From leaving a six figure job, to moving to a foreign city, to fighting for what she knows is right, to transitioning to a life of retirement, to making major financial decisions on pure faith, to waking up every morning in pure expectation. Nothing has been more rewarding than seeing my mother laugh or smile. It has been a year of the unexpected, but my mother has done nothing but expect the absolute best from God. When I look at her, her journey, her story, her courage, I know God is real.

My sisters have really stood strong. My baby sis has shown me that my efforts have not been in vain. From winning queen of her school, to passing critical tests with flying colors, to making smart choices, to not succumbing to peer pressure, to facing tough challenges with a smile, to watching our daddy go in that marble wall, she’s become such a big girl this year and I am so very, very proud. My middle baby sis has shown that she is not interested in anything but greatness. From vindicating the Mitchell name, to carving her own path, to making sure she keeps our fabulous legacy alive on campus, to dreaming without measure, to understand her purpose, to not allowing the way people treat her dictate who she is to become, she has evolved and I am proud. Nothing has been more rewarding than watching my sisters blossom into incredible little women. I am so blessed to have built in BFFs and riding partners. It’s amazing how we’ve grown up to become such great friends and closer than ever.

Anyone who knows me knows that my family is my core. It is all that I have. I have gotten closer to one of my favorite cousins in the entire world. It’s sad that it takes someone dying for you to get close (or closer) to your family, but it is essential. What amazes me is how family traits and history always seem to flow throughout your family lineage. It is important to know your family’s plight so you don’t repeat the same unnecessary steps. I am grateful for the way things have transpired. When I look at the people I am NOT close within my family, I am not even hurt or disappointed. God just showed me that there will be less people with their hands out when I become a millionaire and very few can take credit.

Sigh….. my friends. What an incredible set of friends I have been given. Whether I have known a person a lifetime or a short time, I have grown to love and know some truly wonderful people. When I faced my greatest challenge this year, I made one phone call and my girl was at my house within moments to cook for my entire family, no questions asked. You would have thought we were having a birthday party. I hadn’t even realized that we were in the midst of planning a funeral because the house was filled with so much love. But that’s just it! With every loss of love or a loved one, God always finds a way to fill that void.

I have learned that it is essential to be transparent on your plight to greatness. It is ok to be a little vulnerable. It is ok to show who you are (just enough, not all of you). It is ok to let your mascara run a little. It is ok to cry and get it all out. It is ok to say you’re sad or having a bad day. It is ok to say you miss someone and genuinely mean it. It is ok to say you love someone and not necessarily be in deep, deep love. It is ok to be just who you are. You never know how a small statement of truth will alter someone’s course. I think it is essential to tell it all so you can move forward. I am at the point in my life where I really don’t care what people think or say. If someone one truly wants to be free, they choose to be. I choose to be me, no matter the cost. At the end of the day, someone wants that same freedom and may be looking to you for guidance.
My blog has been my medicine this year. Well, the cyber world in general. I have connected with some incredible people. From love, to friendship, to support, to just a few simple words, people have been amazing. Sometimes it’s ok to let new people in your life. Actually, it is very necessary. I think when you are raw and open about something you think you’re the one only struggling with, someone will come along your journey to let you know you are not alone. You become the beacon of light for someone else who is struggling with the same issue. You would be surprised at the people I have met, loved, and befriended this year. All in the midst of what I thought was the worst year of my life. These people made this year go smooth. Really. I know it is nobody but God to have me meet these people along my journey.

I have made friends overnight. It’s funny. I am not the multiple “BFF” type of person, but I have truly become more open to befriending people. Not to the point where we are all meeting up for coffee and joining the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but enough to say, “hey, so and so is cool”. God has connected me to people through tears not necessarily years. It only takes a moment to connect to a great person. If not only for the moment, the purpose has been served.

Speaking of purpose, you cant over think a person’s purpose in your life, eventually they will show you. I truly mean this. I am currently in the process of trying to determine why God connected me to a certain individual. For as quickly as he fell for me, he has fallen completely off the radar. I have no idea why or how, but it has just fizzled. I ask myself, “God why send a new ‘him’ if he has no intentions of staying”. I have cried about it, tried to talk about, and done thinking about it. I cannot allow something to rent that kind of space in my head because the real estate is entirely too expensive. If he wants to stay, he knows how. The sad thing is, when he comes back to where he left me, I may be in a new location. It’s unfortunate, but it’s real.

If God grants you one opportunity, what makes you think He won’t do it again? If He is the provider, what is provided is trivial to Him. So, to think that love won’t find its way back to you is asinine. Nothing is without purpose and timing in your life. For every great thing you experience, another one is ready to find its way to you. Keep believing and know that the cycle must and will continue.

Loving who God has bonded me to and who He sends my way,


Ode to 2010: Post 5 of 12

Lesson #4: Forgiveness

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Since dad passed, I have personally confronted people. I have become this pit bull in a skirt when it comes to him or anyone else in my family. Because his passing exposed so many counterfeit friends and family, I have not been timid when it comes to telling it like is. I let folks have it and keep it moving. While I have definitely toned it down a little since March, my intentions are the same, I have to let people know how I feel.

I don’t allow the way people have treated me or anyone in my family to dictate how I live my life. While folks have pissed me off in one way or another, I have had to move forward. I recently sat down with one of my line sisters who I have always been cool with but for one reason or another we grew apart because of some BS I heard. For a while, I just wouldn’t speak to her and she started to noticed. I said, “you know what, let me call________ to have lunch and let her know my issue”. We ate, we talked, we laughed, we cried. She was like, “Mel, I didn’t even know you were mad for real, I just thought you were going through something that day.” Honey, all that time I was going out of my way to have an attitude with someone who didn’t even know I had one. Now what if something happened to one of us and we left that issue unresolved? Most importantly, we simply missed out on time we could have been building upon our relationship and ultimately working in collaboration. It was such a waste of time to have an attitude about something that could have been easily resolved.

There are some other people I wouldn’t mind backing my car over, but I am really, really praying about them. When the opportunity presents itself, I will make sure I make the situations right. I promise I will. The crazy thing is they probably don’t even know for real. Unforgiveness is merely like drinking poison and thinking the other person will die. You have to know that not forgiving a person will merely hurt you, not them. Unforgiveness might be blocking your breakthrough. While I have let the offenses go, I need to remove the way I feel about the people. It’s unfortunate because they really might be great people, but I may never know it. It’s funny because people will have a preconceived notion about you and when they meet you they have to laugh because they were so off! The same goes for people who have hurt you. Many times their actions were out of immaturity or lack of knowledge. A mere conversation can clear up years of wasted time.

That’s my mission as I close this year out and usher in the next. I am not letting anyone get in the way of my next level. If it means forgiving people who have hurt me greatly, then so be it.
Forgiving so I can be free,

Ode To 2010: Post 4 of 12

Lesson #3: Favor

"For His anger is but for a moment, but His favor is for a lifetime or in His favor is life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

- Psalm 30:5

Let me just let you know that favor will give you what money can’t buy. I have held firm to this belief all my life, but I have TRULY seen God move in this area of my life. I have always been accustomed to living a certain way since I was small. My parents worked hard to give me the life that they were not privy to, so I have always enjoyed a comfortable life. While my parents instilled the belief that hard work should always be rewarded with nice things, they always stressed the fact that favor trumps it all.

This year I have literally been on 20 trips all over the United States. Miami, Vegas, Houston, Dallas, New Orleans, NY, Chicago, Mountains of Tennessee, Alabama, all over Florida, you name it. Now this is someone who didn’t have a traditional 9-5. I don’t even know how I did it. In the beginning of the year, I had a dream where I was in the airport with lots of luggage all around me. God told me “this is your year to travel”. Of course I was like, “God how? Where am I going to get the money?” God showed me better than He could whisper. He made a way out of no way. I received a companion pass to travel whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted, for a minimal cost. I found Swiss luggage marked down to $19.99 at Target. I was connected to clients in Texas that were willing to pay for my time and talents. Oh, and they flew me to whatever city they were in. I have done more this year than I could have ever imagined and it’s all because I have been favored.

I have learned to stop doing the math when it comes to God and money, He always makes the difference. I can vividly remember walking into H & M this summer and the clerk was marking the entire clearance area down to $5. It was something out of a dream. Follow me camera… (*Messy Mya voice*) Can you imagine walking in the store and seeing ALL your favorite pieces for 5 bucks??? I mean, I was in complete tears. I am serious. I know it was nobody but God. I spent like $50 and got pieces that totally transformed my wardrobe. This might seem materialistic, but when you pray, you need to pray specifically. More than anything, it was a desire of my heart. Whether it is as menial as a parking space to having a successful marriage, I don’t have any boundaries when it comes to prayer. I even started thrifting this year. I was always one of those really finicky people that was adamantly against going to Goodwill or Value Village. Now people are giving me gift certificates to both for Christmas. Lol. It is all about perspective and style.
If you are constantly evolving both, it really doesn’t matter.

They say favor ain’t fair, and they are partially correct. Favor belongs to those who believe and those who sow . It may seem unfair that someone is experiencing success and moving quickly up their ladder of success, but we often don’t know their stories. It is really not our role to speculate. We must press towards our own destiny and not be concerned with how much they have and what we don’t. The bottom line is that we must understand this whole thing called favor. If we are diligent on our own journey, we won’t have time to sit around and question the plight of another's. Believe me, I have questioned God a time or two, but then I have to repent. There is someone sitting on the sidelines thinking the same about me. There is no way they can know how much I tithe, how much I pour into the youth, how many nights I cry myself to sleep in prayer, how much I have sacrificed, or even who I truly am. Truth to the matter is, no one ever stops to find out your story, they just see your glory. That’s cool, it’s by design. God has it where your glory will be so magnificent that people will seek you and want to hear your story. The favor on your life will be so great that your story will motivate others to believe in their own dreams and support you in yours.
Favor is meant to over flow so you can be a blessing to all of those around you.

Understanding that favor makes up the difference,


Ode to 2010: Post 3 of 12

Lesson #2: Faith

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"- Hebrews 11:1

More than anything, I know that without God, I am nothing. This year has taught me that I have to be oblivious to what I (physically) see and focus on the things hoped for. Everything I’ve stood on faith to believe, I have received. The things that have been slow to come are obviously not finished being worked on. I’ve had to truly stand on His word with every step.

I think about why certain relationships have ended the way they did or why certain job opportunities have or haven’t presented themselves, and I merely have to stop dead in my thoughts. I have to go back to realize how God has rescued me before. There is nothing more I can do to change my future but to believe God for what I desire. More than anything, I have to realize that God will not give me more than I am capable of handling. It’s like a 3 year old asking for a new (real) car for Christmas. No parent would give a toddler a 10 ton machine right? So why would God give me things that I am not ready for?

I think about leaving a job that I thought was carved specifically for me. This was such a defining moment for me. I was a part of a dynamic management duo that was set to take the Atlanta schools by storm. Once we got wind of shady businesses practices, we began to ask questions. As you know, the moment you try to stand up for something right, you because the person that was wrong. In order to not further be a part of foolishness, I simply walked away without a fight. I didn’t put any energy into it. While I had some free time to dream, I spent some very valuable moments with my father, soaking up some valuable knowledge. Within a month, he was gone. I didn’t know why God wanted me to leave that job until I watch my dad leave the earth. I knew in that very moment that God wanted me to take time to do things that were most important, and that was to be with my dad. That one small step of faith turned out to be the best decision I ever made. Months later, my organization lost all government funding, folks went to jail, and the entire operation foiled. God wanted me out of the way.

Since the day I have left, I have had numerous opportunities to travel, work on high profile projects with celebrities, work on contracts that I would have never been able to work on, meet incredible new people, and live out my dreams. Now this my friend, is a life of faith. Not knowing if unemployment will be renewed. Not knowing if the money in my savings will be enough. Not knowing if a client’s check will clear. Not knowing if the next client will become available. Not knowing if I will get the interview. My life has truly been founded on “give us this daily our daily bread”. I have had to make myself understand that it only takes a one phone call, one moment, one person, one day, to change your entire life. (For the good). God can take everything you’ve been praying for and give it all to you in one singular moment. When I stand firm on this very belief, I am not pulled into a whirlwind of depression and fret. I just have to know that if it is to work out, then it will. If the answer doesn’t come in this very moment, then it will have to come in the next.
Finding comfort in living from faith to other choice,

Ode to 2010: Post 2 of 12

Lesson #1: Love

" many people use your name in vain...." -Musiq

Sigh….. love…. I guess I had to get this section out of the way early so I would just get it all out of my psyche. I remember watching Dave Chappelle numerous times and my favorite episode was when Rick James said, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” Well, I am here to add to that list, love is a hell of a drug. Lol.

While I am one of those quintessential dreamers when it comes to love and the pursuit of happiness, I always try to remain somewhat realistic. I have dream boards that date back to the 80’s. I have always had this image of a knight in shining armor to rescue me from my reality and woo me away to our own little world. Every man I meet I’m like, “Ok…is this it God? Show me a sign! What’s next?” (Always doing waaaaaaay too much… lol)

Love is a tricky thing. While someone is ready to love, they have to be ready to love you. I have learned that love is not a forced emotion; it is one that comes effortlessly. You can’t make someone love you if they don’t have the capacity to love you. While I know an individual has the capacity to love, they may not be capable of loving me in the capacity in which I need them to. This thought gives me the comfort that I need to move from situation to situation. I take each love, like, and lust as lessons, some more or less intense as the next. More importantly, I hold on to the lesson, but not the person. This is essential to protect my total being and who I’m destined to be. You can’t allow a situation to redefine all that God has created you to be. Sure, you are supposed to be a little different from each experience because you have garnered a new level of understanding and a new way of thinking, but never are you to change who God intended for you to be. After every tear dried, I realized that when I looked in the mirror, I saw the same aura of greatness. With tear filled eyes, I used to ask God why, how, when, where, what, and He merely said, “Soon”. With that, I love forward in pursuit of Him and I know somewhere along the way I will find what I’m looking for in life and I will be found for someone who has been searching for me all of his.

This year, I have met and dated some incredible men. While most of them were out of town, I have been so blessed to meet such incredible human beings. No matter how the situations ended up, I thank God for the glimpse of my final product. I didn’t think a man existed that could laugh at the same silly jokes, loved the same soul stirring music, loved his family to the end of the earth, knew what I was saying when all I was doing was crying, and could give strength merely through a touch. Yeah, this man is actually real. Why am I not with him right now you ask? Well, because out of all that greatness, I know that he is not who God wants me to be with forever. But I do know that he was everything I needed at that very moment in life. I get tears when I think about the genuine spirit of this man. He flew down to be with me in one of the hardest moments in my entire life. I will love him forever for that. He knows who he is.

When I let him go, I met an incredible man on my same journey to be all that God wants me to be. While it seemed to fit like a perfect puzzle, it still didn’t flow seamlessly. I am not ruling it out, but I am not willing to lose my mind about it. At the end of the day I am me and no one else can be. The same goes for every individual. While we are all great alone, we are magnificent when we are partnered with who God has destined for us. My perspective is that if God can send me one wonderful man after the next, surely the next can be just a magnificent. I have retired from mind reading and second guessing. When God shows or tells me something I move in that direction, and that direction only. This is sometimes hard to decipher from my female intuition and silly insecurities, but I have to constantly be in prayer.

I am very candid about my accounts because I want people to know that every situation and person is meant to push us closer to our final product. Sure I want to hold on to the “one” I thought was my ideal mate, but for whatever reason, it didn’t work. When things don’t work or find a way to fizzle out, I leave it alone. I cry about it, get mad about it, scream about it, but have to move on. If I have learned nothing more this year, I have learned not to stay in one place for too long. This is essential when loving. Love is such an encompassing emotion it can derail your course to excellence if you don’t move in wisdom. You have to be careful who you love and how you love. You can love with your total being and realized that you a) have nothing left for yourself and b) you are giving away more love than they are even willing to give back to you. Even through my disappointments in love, I have decided that I’m going to release it all into the atmosphere. If it’s meant, then it’s meant. I used to hate that saying because I felt like it was a lazy way to view what you know you want. God showed me that it is essential to let go of what you THINK you want so you can ultimately get what is promised. Don’t get me wrong, I dream and have preferences, but I am still open to what God has. I have to be open in order to make it to my final destination.

Still loving freely,


Ode to 2010: Post 1 of 12

Close out letter to 2010......

So, as I say goodbye to 2010, I sit in silence. Like I am waiting for my named to be called for an academy award, or like I am waiting to jump out of an airplane to sky dive, or like I am about to give my first trial sermon over in Africa before 1 million people. I am waiting to walk into the next level of my life with great expectancy . I expect my favor to be increased. I expect my love to over flow. I expect to be a blessing to others every day that I live. I expect to be a secret millionaire that funds people’s dreams. I expect to be debt free. I expect to show people that God is real and that my path was not in vain. I expect to shatter all preconceived notions. I expect to be greater than ever before. Above all, I expect to be in the will of God, doing exactly what He has destined for me to do. With all of these expectations, I am not above God changing the plan totally. I am willing to give up what I know to have what God says I am to have. I have just that much faith.

So, Ms. 2010 I say goodbye and goodnight. I thank you for your lessons, but I don’t ever want to meet anyone quite like yourself. While I have been strengthened through this journey, I don’t think I would choose to do a repeat performance. I am grateful for the lessons, but I am even more grateful that this year is gracefully bowing out.

The time is now to usher in a new season of jubilee. The time is now to prepare for all the promises that were written. The time is now to live out the dreams that keep me up at night. The time is now to do something different. The time is now to live. That’s exactly what I plan to do.