Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Ode to 2010: Post 10 of 12

Lesson #9: Keep Dreaming and Believing

The thing about dreams is that at some point we have to wake up and live them….. -Me

Do you possess the ability to dream without measure? Do you think you possess the power to dream when everyone says your dream is not going to happen? Do you think you’re able to hold on to what God promised when it looks like it will never happen? Do you think all your believing has been in vain? Do you think what you want is too much to ask? Do you think you’re worthy of all your dreams coming true? Can you believe? These are some of the questions that I often ask myself.

I think about the numerous dream boards I’ve made, the promises God has told me, the things I have been told by prophets, and I’m like, “God are you sure?”. Sometimes my reality doesn’t always directly correlate with my dreams and I am often baffled. In my moments of doubt, I immediately have to rebuke the enemy. That’s often when breakthrough comes. When I feel like I am about to fail, I have to go to God in prayer. I have to find a way to ignore what I see and understand that what I don’t see is working on my behalf. I literally have to repeat out loud “Walk by faith and not by sight” over and over again. Once I get this mantra back reprogrammed into my spirit, God shows up.

I have really, really had to walk by faith this year. Leaving a job, having to survive, wanting to still bless others, and just trying to remain significant, I have had quite a journey. Through all of my struggles, I can say God is good. When God says He will grant you your daily bread, He is not a man that He should lie. I really, really wish I could tell you everything that I have triumphed over and been able to get the victory in. Every time I needed a bill paid, or a sign, God wasn’t slow to move. I can recount numerous times where I said, “mom, God is about to send a check in the mail”, and within days it came into fruition. I know God is real. The moment I try to doubt His ability to work it out, I am reminded of how He showed up before.

My spirituality has been heightened in the midst of my life’s greatest storm. I have seen God move in the spiritual realm right before my eyes. Words cannot express the way I feel right now.
When you are at your lowest, God should be lifted the highest. Nothing is too hard for God, nothing. If something doesn’t work out the way you thought it would, then God has a different plan, He has to.

I have learned to not stop dreaming and believing. Yes, I will be disappointed. Yes, I will have to leave some people in my past. Yes, I will have to walk about from situations that seem ideal. Yes, I will encounter doubt. Yes, I will want to throw in the towel in more ways than one. Yes, I will feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders. Yes, people will think I am crazy for believing beyond what I see. But honey, let me tell you, none of that matters when God is in the driver’s seat. I have learned that I have to stop listening to what others say and even some of my own thoughts. The best way to get answers is to be silent. I have had to find a way to get to God through prayer and supplication. I pray about it, write about, and wait on it. Some answers are more explicit while others take a little longer to come. I know that when God has told or showed me something I have to move in that direction or everything else will fail. With God, I am ok. I have learned that when everything else fades away, we will always have God, and that’s more than enough.

Not going to stop dreaming and believing,


No comments: